The Fascinating Power of Self-Confidence

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Let’s talk about confidence.

Not as a memory of what it once used to be, but its current state. Let’s talk straight about it, objectively…

When was the last time you literally jumped out of bed in an exciting mood and made even Mondays tremble before your will power?

Now, think about the opposite; how about those times when you need to be splashed with a bucket of cold water to get you out of bed?

 

The way you feel on any given day is the direct result of your physiological state, your mental state, and even your emotional state.

When you recreate your stress and anxiety, you perpetuate a life of depression, so you end up believing that, no matter what you do, everything is going bad; and that whatever you might do, you will doing it wrong.

Your confidence will take a big hit, and with it, your Success/Doom cycle gets influenced.

 

Let me explain:

Every time you undertake any task in life, you go through a cycle in which you first tap into your Potential. Such Potential is limitless, but it gets easily influenced by our Beliefs; if you don’t believe something is going to work –let’s say you had a poor previous experience, how much of that Potential do you think you are going to tap? Probably not too much, right?

And you’re not going to feel so certain about it, and perhaps even a little fearful…

So, with that little Potential available for you at the time, are you going to take the required Massive Action on that matter?

Again, no.

So, with that little Potential, taking such a poor Action, what kind of Results are you going to get?

Lousy Results, most likely; and that Results in a way will come to “confirm” your Beliefs that “it’s not going to work”, so you’d probably go “see? I told you it wasn’t going to work”…

So the next time you need to start this Cycle, your Beliefs are even more negative, and there you go again, spiraling down and down.

 

Here’s the good news: this Cycle works the other way as well.

If you consistently feel gratitude, joy, contentment, and love, you’re directly affecting your Beliefs, moving your life into an amazing, positive state in which nothing really bothers you.
You tap purely into your Potential because, hey! You can make anything happen!

You move through your day with purpose, taking Massive Action to complete your tasks with enthusiasm, thus, creating extraordinary results –which can be either the achievement of goals or the learning experience of valuable life lessons.

 

This is the way you create an outstanding self-confidence.
When you’re in control of your emotions, you influence your actions directly.
When you’re fueled by a sense of well-being, and trust, you radiate calm and happiness; and those around you can feel it and will react to it accordingly.

 

Confidence is not something you’re born with or just happens to have, it’s something you create.

It is the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set out to do.

Like any other emotion or skill, all you need is to train yourself, so you can access it and use it to your advantage at will.

 

Practice tapping into confidence more and more each day, and begin to believe in yourself.

 

Decide today that you’re going to be more confident, and positive and you’ll have no other choice but to succeed.

Stay strong!

 

 

Plug into your Decision-Making Power

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We make decisions every moment, day after day. Mostly these decisions are small and inconsequential, but sometimes they are life-changing events.

Ultimately, the outcome of your days, your years, and your entire life are mostly defined by the sum of your decisions, and the following actions you take every step of the way.

There is a lot of power in making a decision, any decision; even those you take when you’re not completely sure that it’s the right one. Once you realize the overwhelming impact that making decisions can have, you will definitely start to live the best part of your life.

But that doesn’t make it any easier, right?

There’s a fun saying that goes: “the road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.”

We tend to get paralyzed at some point, like the squirrel on the road in front of a pair of headlights; and knowing upfront the impact our decisions can have doesn’t make the fear go away. What if we make the wrong one? How would that affect our lives?

You might think then “so, I’d better not take any decision at all”… but that is also a decision –and a very bad one; one that also holds the power to create quite a mess.

 

The inability to make a decision can leave you frozen in place when changes are necessary. It can also devastate your confidence, your happiness, and your overall emotional well-being.

Any decision is better than no decision at all.

Push past the fear and doubts, and start taking control over your life’s outcomes; make decisions quickly, take action steps immediately, and visualize the end result you’re looking for.

 

Commit to a decision, follow through, and you can set yourself up for success every time.

Stay strong.

Put Your Procrastination under the Magnifying Glass

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We all had fallen into the bottomless pit of procrastination; I know I had, more than once… and I’d bet that you had too.

When it happens, we tend to think of it as just one unique way to avoid something; but if we were to get a magnifying glass and look closely, we would see that there are actually different reasons why we tend to get into procrastination mode.

Before we can work on getting rid of or circumventing our delaying habits, we need to understand where they’re coming from.

Let’s look through that glass and see the main reasons we fall into procrastination, and also some simple ways to overcome them:

1.    Feeling Overwhelmed

There are times when you’re faced with the complexity of a task at hand, and you think “there is no way I can get this done by x time… let’s channel-surf for a while instead”…
Surely you’re familiar with this kind of Overwhelm-procrastination, which is the urge to avoid tasks that are just too big that you don’t know how to tackle them; you don’t find a way into it, so you put it off for as long as you possibly can, and find all kinds of excuses.

One easy way to overcome this feeling is to break big goals into small, concrete steps (often called “chunks”) you can work on right away.

2.   Fear

There are times when we avoid taking action just because taking that next step requires us to push ourselves into the unknown territory of “the Next Level”. Setting a higher year income, getting into a new market, writing your new chapter, or submitting the book to a publisher… we put these things off because they are Uncertainty incarnated… The Unknown, and we tend to assume the worst.

In this kind of situation, we go into survival mode; something that must have been helpful to the average caveman back in prehistoric times, but it is not for our own state of mind or achievement.

In this case, the best remedy against fear is faith, trust, confidence, and resolution. There is nothing to worry about, what doesn’t go well becomes a learning experience.
Again, tiny first steps are the best way to start; remember: you don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take one step at the time.

3.   Lack of Incentive

We, humans, are wired to instinctively seek comfort. In order to motivate us out of the couch, we need a clear benefit –that or a big mean dog chasing our butts into discomfort. In other words, if we don’t think going to the gym is bringing us a tangible value, we won’t do it… why change things when we’re so comfy, right?

If we want to get results when there is no sense of urgency, we have to be able to visualize the potential pain that inaction will bring to us. Pain is a bigger motivator than pleasure, but we also have to envision the rewards of actually taking action.

This way, we have the stick and the carrot that will make us move and keep us moving.

Let’s say you want to lose some weight; it’s much easier to stay watching television and eating ice-cream than it is to face the reality that, if we keep this behavior, in a year or less we might look like the giant rock ball that chased Indiana Jones at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

That image alone might be enough to get you to the gym.

Next time you’re faced with a project you just can’t seem to tackle, no matter how many times you write on your planner or put it on your to-do list; you need to figure out exactly why you’re avoiding it.

You need to see things clear first in order to lean the ladder against the right wall.

That way, every step we climb is getting closer to the right place.

When you get there, you will feel really, really good.

Stay strong!

Turn Your Obstacles into Opportunities

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Every person has obstacles in their life. How they overcome them determines their success.

Some people see obstacles as a puzzle to solve. Others see obstacles as threats. Still, others see obstacles as meaning they cannot succeed. Your view of barriers to achieving your goals affects how you react.

When you see obstacles as an opportunity to grow, you change your destiny and the quality of your life forever.

 

Think about these following tips we’re presenting to you… which ones do you already do well, and which ones could you add to your style of overcoming obstacles?

 

See your obstacles as just detours along the way

Never stop believing in yourself and in the achievability of your goals. Surely you already heard the motto “obstacles are what you see when you take your eye off your goals”. Don’t let giving up be a part of your culture, do something worthwhile.

Once your eyes are set on your target, don’t get sidetracked by minor obstacles; no matter how hard it gets, stick to your plan.

 

Hope alone will never get you there

There will always be complications as you move towards your goals, and wishing them away won’t work.

When you create specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-based goals (also known as SMART), in a way, you’re ensuring success. Measure and celebrate your progress and accomplishments to motivate and propel you forward at a faster pace.

Always set those standards and see how much easier it will be to keep moving ahead in spite of obstacles.

 

Focus on what you can do

There will always be things out of your control. Instead of wasting time and effort thinking about the things we cannot do, focus on what you can do. Use the obstacle as a means to become better or think of creative ways to overcome it.

When you hit a wall, don’t just stand there and wonder why you hit the wall; find a way to climb, go around it, or breach through it to get to the other side.

 

Control your response to events

We can’t control the events and circumstances of life, but we can control how we react to them, our response.

If you want to prevail despite the odds, choose attitude. Develop an unshakable belief in yourself and your capabilities; have the confidence to be the exception, the one who overcomes all obstacles, someone who’s willing to bet on yourself.

 

All in all, obstacles are inevitable.

All successful people have faced and overcome their own obstacles.

Find conviction in your goals, create a smart plan, come up with creative solutions and get into the right mindset… you do all that, and you’ll have the power and the determination to succeed.

 

Stay strong!

We Are the Choices We Make

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Every day, at all times, we’re making decisions; and these decisions affect all aspects of our lives.

Now, have you ever thought about what makes us take those specific decisions? How it is that two people can be faced with the same options and circumstances, and make different decisions?

We all approach our life choices differently because our decision-making system is based on the mental processes which define what motivates us and how we see the world.

When it comes to making progress in life, understanding this decision-making system is an invaluable tool. Once we understand the factors that play a part in our decision-making process, we can make our choices take us closer to our goals.

It’s not about what’s right or wrong, but what is it that we tend to do, and how we respond consistently.
Once we figure this out, we would know how to steer our way towards our desired destiny.

 

What of the following characteristics resonates more with you?

1.    Do you tend to move towards to, or Away from?

When a prospect comes your way, do you tend to consider all the benefits that would come with it, or do you tend to worry about what you may lose if you take that choice?

If you are generally motivated by desire, you are more of a “towards-to” person. You need to be motivated by goals and rewards, and make your choices based on the pursuit of pleasure.

If, on the other hand, you are mostly motivated by fear or pain, then you are an “away-from” type of person. You need to get motivated by pain and fear as the consequences of not doing something. It makes more sense to you to identify the risks and downsides involved in a situation.

 

2.  Internal or External?

Who do you turn to when you’re faced with a big decision?

Do you seek an internal point of reference, think about the issue and make a decision by yourself trusting on gut feelings or intuition? If so, then you’re an internal person who would rely on what’s important to you.

Conversely, if you seek out an external point of reference, then you reach out to people in your life looking for their feedback or advice. As an external person, you rely on other people’s testimonials and statistics and seek out validation from them in order to make the most well-informed choice possible.

 

3.  Possibility or Necessity?

What drives you in your life? Are you curious about the potential it has for growth? Does it excite you?

If you tend to see the many possibilities and you’re motivated by the growth you can pursue, then you’re a possibilities person.

If you are a necessity person, you like your life the way it is now, and you feel secure because you know how to handle things that are within your “box”.  You like to be told what new thing or improvement you need to do.

 

4.   Generality or Specificity?

For some people, knowing the big picture is enough to get motivated. They focus on the master plan and the overall goal and think of how each of their actions will affect the goal in the long run.

Others are more comfortable only when they have all the details. They would be doubtful with only a general sense of the situation. They don’t regularly think about the future and are able to hone in on the short term.

 

Once you understand the way you make decisions and identify these patterns in yourself, you can more effectively communicate your needs and understand your decision-making process.

See you next week.
Stay strong.

Turn Adversity into an Advantage

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If the flame of our passion is the size of that of a candle, even a mild breeze could put it out; but if it is as big as a bonfire, the strongest wind just makes it burn even brighter. 

Just as a quote by Marcus Aurelius put it: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

No matter how many times our actions were obstructed, nothing can really stand in our way if we can keep our intention and disposition. We can adapt, and overcome, turning the obstacle into the fuel that may propel us.

As we move towards the fulfillment of our goals, setbacks and problems will always be there, but they are never permanent; and if we look at them the right way, we will see that they are nothing but an opportunity to practice virtues such as patience, courage, humility, resourcefulness, and creativity.

The basis for such a discipline relies upon the concepts of Perception, Action, and Will

 

Perception

This is the way we see and give meaning to those events happening around us. Our perceptions can be a source of encouragement and confidence, or they could provide us with great pain and weakness.

If we decide to become emotional, subjective or shortsighted, we would only make ourselves miserable by reacting to our fear of a temporary condition, and to the doom we project into the future.

Instead, we must filter out our prejudice, expectation, and fear; remain calm and imperturbable as we see things just as they really are. From that objective perspective, we can focus on the future we want to create.

 

Action

Some years ago I heard some movie villain apologizing to another for being late saying he “was wasting time confusing motion with accomplishment”.

What a great concept. When faced with a setback, we tend to react with any kind action; usually misdirected and unplanned. If action is required, it should be effective, well directed, and executed with persistence and flexibility –in other words, creative application, not brute force.

 

Will

Will is the internal fuel that moves us; it can never be affected by any outside events. It’s our ultimate resource.

When everything seems to be going down, we can turn it into learning or humbling experience, and a chance to provide comfort to others.

We have to be prepared to accept adversity and chaos and practice acceptance and cheerfulness even in the face of our darkest moments.

Most people think will is the way we strenuously hold onto something when actually it has a lot more to do with surrender yourself to a situation.
True will has to do with quiet humility, resilience, and flexibility under the hardest obstacles.

 

The roads of our lives are filled with obstacles, and we will be constantly tested. We must prove ourselves worthy of the challenge; so let’s stand up and show what we’re really made of.

Stay strong!